Grief in autumn: letting go while holding on

• Grief and loss

Autumn invites us to reflect on change. As the vibrant colours of summer give way to golden leaves, cooler air, and fading light, we’re reminded of life’s natural cycles. For those living with grief, this season can stir deep emotions—feelings of absence, longing, or loneliness that echo the turning of the year.

Just as trees shed their leaves, we, too, experience seasons of letting go—whether of routines, dreams, or the physical presence of someone we love. Yet autumn reminds us that letting go is not forgetting. It is part of a larger rhythm, a sacred pause between fullness and rest, an opportunity to hold what matters close while making space for healing.

Grief, like autumn, is nonlinear and deeply personal. It asks us to move slowly, to notice what has changed, and to be gentle with ourselves as we carry both love and loss.

This reflection offers simple, compassionate practices for moving through the season:

• Create a seasonal alter of remembrance with natural elements, like fallen leaves or small stones, or meaningful items that remind you of your loved one. Create a small space where you can sit in reflection or light a candle. This can become a ritual space for remembrance, helping you stay connected through simple, sacred gestures.
• Embrace the symbol of letting go by writing down what you are carrying—regrets, sorrow, memories, words left unsaid. Then, in a symbolic act, release them. You might burn the paper safely, bury it in the earth, or let it drift into a body of water. The act of releasing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means making room for healing.
• Nourish your body with warmth – wrap yourself in a soft blanket, sip a hot drink, eat nourishing soups or stews. These small acts of care can ground us when grief feels disorienting.
• Reflect with the season and nature’s rhythm, allowing the falling leaves to remind you that release can happen with quiet trust, not despair. Let them teach you about surrender, and remind you that loss is not the end of the story—it’s part of the turning of cycles. Practice letting go of expectations, timelines, or harsh self-judgments.
• Connect with what feels sacred, whether through journaling, music, prayer, or quiet time outdoors of moments of stillness, find a way to stay rooted in what feels sacred to you. This might be a walk through the changing colours of the trees, a poem that speaks to your grief, or simply sitting with your hand on your heart.

There is no timeline for grief, no milestone you need to meet. Just as every leaf falls in its own time, so too does the heart release in its own rhythm. Healing does not ask us to hurry; it asks us to be present—one breath, one step, one moment at a time.

This autumn, may you remember: letting go does not mean forgetting. And at Dorothy Ley Hospice, you are not forgotten.