Caring for yourself while caring for a loved one at the end of life

• End of life
• Family and caregivers

Being a caregiver for someone with a serious illness can be one of the most profound experiences of your life. At the same time, it’s often overwhelming, draining, and emotionally complex. If your loved one is approaching the end of their life, the journey ahead may feel even more intense, filled with moments of both beauty and difficulty. While every situation is unique, it’s important to remember that caring for yourself along the way is not only okay, it’s essential. You matter.

Here, we explore some ideas that may help you care for yourself while supporting your loved one. However, keep in mind that each person’s path is different—what works for one caregiver might not resonate with another. The key is to try to notice your own needs and be kind to yourself as you navigate this challenging time.

Caring for yourself while caring for another person

Acknowledge your emotions

Caring for a loved one at the end of life can stir up many emotions—grief, guilt, sadness, and sometimes even anger or resentment. You might also experience joy, gratitude, and deep love, all at the same time. All these emotions are valid, and trying to feel them without judgment is helpful.

Try to create space in your day for reflection, whether through journaling, talking to someone you trust, or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts. Giving yourself permission to feel your feelings can lighten the emotional load and remind you that you’re doing your best.

Share the load

As a caregiver, it’s easy to feel like you have to do it all—but no one can take on everything alone. It’s important to recognize your limits and understand that asking for help is not a sign of failure but an act of strength. Whether it’s seeking assistance from family, friends, or professional services, sharing the load can make a world of difference.

Take time to think about what you can realistically manage, and don’t hesitate to delegate tasks or accept support from others. The Ontario Caregiver Organization’s toolkit provides a checklist to help you identify where to start when seeking help, whether for caregiving tasks, emotional support, or simply taking a break. You can always reach out to the hospice to see how we can help.

Pay attention to your own health

It’s easy to overlook your own physical needs when you’re so focused on someone else’s. However, small actions can make a big difference in maintaining your health. Aim to nourish your body with balanced meals, hydrate regularly, and get rest when you can, even if it’s only in short naps.

If time allows, a quick walk in nature or a few stretches can help release tension and offer a much-needed reset. The important thing is to be gentle with yourself—taking care of your body in whatever way you can manage.

Find moments of respite

Caregiving can feel all-consuming, but finding brief moments of respite, even within the day-to-day tasks, can help you recharge. This might look different for everyone—some may find solace in meditation or deep breathing exercises, while others may enjoy reading, crafting, or listening to music for a few minutes.

Remember, it’s important to take time for yourself. Doing so often lets you return to caregiving duties with a clearer mind.

We offer a day program for individuals living with illness that many caregivers have said provides them with weekly respite. Reach out to us to discuss your options.

Seek support—on your terms

You’re not alone.

Many caregivers find that connecting with others going through similar experiences can be a great source of validation and comfort. Support groups, either in-person or online, can offer a space to share stories, advice, and encouragement. You may also benefit from speaking with a counsellor, spiritual advisor, or therapist who understands the complexities of caregiving.

Support comes in many forms, and if these options don’t appeal to you, that’s okay. Choose what feels right for you, and don’t hesitate to change course if your needs evolve.

Our care coordinators help clients explore options that may be helpful to them, including our wellness services, group programs and counselling just for caregivers, like you.

Create your community

Caregiving is a common but isolating experience. We just aren’t meant to do this alone. Creating your community can be a form of care. Whether leaning on existing friends, family and neighbours, or creating new connections with other caregivers through our programs, creating your own community can be a gentle reminder that you are not alone and your well-being matters.

Give yourself some grace

Am I doing this right?

Caregiving is hard, and it’s normal to feel like you’re not doing enough or to worry about making mistakes. But the reality is, you’re showing up for your loved one in the best way you can, and that is enough. Practicing self-compassion is essential during this time. Treat yourself like you would a friend. Be kind to yourself when things don’t go perfectly, and remember that you deserve the same care and understanding you offer to others.

By being gentle with yourself, you not only support your own well-being but also strengthen your ability to continue caring for your loved one.

We’re here when you need us

At Dorothy Ley Hospice, we recognize the challenges of caregiving and are here to support you. If you or your loved one is already a client, you can speak to your care coordinator to explore ways we can help.

If you’re not already a client but live in Etobicoke, West Toronto or Mississauga, you can complete our referral form to access support.